Eternity, Memory of Lightwaves
by Riona
Summary: Auron contemplates his past pilgrimage, and what he has lost... [AuronJecht]


 "Auron?"

Auron closed his eyes, pretending not to have heard the enquiry of the blond boy behind him. He knew, of course, that Tidus' curiosity, once provoked, could not be repressed... but he wanted to enjoy a few seconds' respite. A little peace before the inevitable incessant questioning.

Sure enough, after only a moment there was a slight rustle and the feeling of rough clothing brushing his own as Tidus crouched beside him - staring out at the moonlit ocean as Auron had been doing only moments before, but finding none of the depth of meaning there that the older man had. "What're you doing out here?"

"...Thinking," he responded, opening his good eye. Tidus, he noted, looked oddly... contemplative, somehow. It was an expression that seemed a little out-of-place on the boy, at odds with his usual optimistic grin or confused half-glare.

"You can think in the hotel, y'know," he pointed out, a trace of humour in his voice.

Usually Auron would have responded to that with subtle mockery, but he was still caught in the memories that the sea brought back to him. "...I wanted to watch the sea." A simple response, honest and easy to understand – if perhaps not so easy to understand the motives behind it – and yet he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, what Tidus' response would be.

Tidus' eyebrows drew together, and Auron found himself moving his lips along with the single, confused word that the young man emitted. "Huh?"

He laughed softly, running his right hand along the handle of the katana that lay next to him – he would never abandon his weapon, even for a moment. "To remember." For a second he entertained the hope that Tidus would be satisfied with the ambiguous response and leave him to his thoughts, but in vain.

"Remembering what?"

_So stubborn... he gets that from his father._

Auron felt vaguely surprised at his own thoughts. He had never really considered that Tidus could be at all like Jecht before – he knew, of course, that he was Jecht's son, but he had always thought of them as two utterly different people. Tidus was rash, and foolish, and stubborn...

_But so was Jecht. Not so unlike him after all, is he?_

...and he was so easily confused, annoying, so utterly devoted to Yuna...

_Braska._

...devoted to Yuna. Whereas Jecht... Jecht was...

_Beautiful._

And another wave of painfully clear memories caught him off-guard, forcing him down onto the hard earth with a cry akin to pain.

"Remembering what? Auron!" And Tidus _Jecht's son Jecht Sin all gone Yevon no Yevon the lies died for nothing _Tidus was helping him up now, brushing the earth off Auron's face, concerned and bewildered.

_And you really can't blame him for his confusion now, can you?_

Auron clutched the handle of his katana in a death-grip, breathing heavily and trying to calm himself. Tidus sat back on his heels, watching him closely, his expression apprehensive.

He couldn't contain himself, it seemed, and after a few minutes had passed he blurted, "So, what were you trying to remember?"

It wasn't what Auron had expected him to ask, and in a way he was grateful. He didn't want to have to answer the other question yet - he didn't want to have to explain why he had collapsed.

The two queries were linked, though, and in the end he would have to say it. He wanted to avoid that as long as possible. For now, Auron was the only person who knew anything about it, and he had been hoping that it would stay that way.

_Only person? Jecht would know. And he's still alive, Auron. Sin, but still alive. What are you? An unsent. You're less than nothing, Auron. If anything, the 'only person' who knows about this is Jecht._

"Auron?"

He drew breath to answer, but was abruptly cut off.

"Wait." And as much as Auron had been dreading the moment when he had to speak, he found himself to be irrationally annoyed at being interrupted. Tidus frowned. "This is about Sin, isn't it? I mean... my old man?"

_I've underestimated him._

Auron found himself once again astonished at how perceptive Tidus could be. He had never considered him to be an especially intelligent person, and so it never failed to surprise the older man when he actually seemed to have a keen insight into what was going on. "...Yes. Jecht."

...It hurt to say his name.

"And before... when you – y'know..." Apparently Tidus wasn't comfortable with the idea that Auron, the strongest out of all of them, should suddenly collapse for no immediately apparent reason. "...that was to do with him as well, wasn't it? When you cried out -" Brief shock showed in his eyes, then anger. "Was it – did he hurt you? Did my – _father –_" apparently it hurt Tidus to speak of him as well, although Auron was fairly certain that it was for entirely different reasons, " – did he attack you?"

"No." And Auron was smiling sadly now, the expression hidden behind his high collar. "No, Jecht never hurt me."

_But you were hurt, Auron. Because of Jecht._

_I cared too much. I cared too much sostupidlostitall-_

"Auron? Au –"

"I loved him."

And now it was Tidus' turn to reel in shock, to stare in disbelief at the man in front of him. All emotion that was there before – bewilderment, concern, anger – was washed away by a kind of amazement, a feeling of numb shock that permeated his entire body. Sheer astonishment battled with a mixed belief and hope that he had heard incorrectly, and the son of Jecht was – for once in his life – lost for words.

"You –"

"Yes."

And Tidus stared at him for a moment longer, incredulous and horrified, before turning and walking back to the warmth and light of the Mi'ihen Travel Agency... and Auron was finally left alone to contemplate his memories of a time before.


End file.
